“What If One Day..." — Extreme Collecting, Impulse Buys, and the ADHD Nerd
I think about this old wooden paper storage unit I built. It was massive, heavy, and intended to house years of my newsprint figure drawings. I swore I needed it to keep those drawings safe—what if I needed to reference them one day? But eventually, the unit became too impractical to move, and the drawings just became a physical weight I was carrying. Letting go of that unit and those drawings wasn't just 'cleaning'; it was a radical act of deciding that my current space was more valuable than a 'maybe' from my past.
Interestingly enough, there is a documented correlation between ADHD and challenges with acquisition and organization. For many in our community, this shows up as Extreme Collecting—a survival tactic for a brain that relies on visual cues to maintain awareness of its belongings. We aren't just 'messy'; we are building a physical archive of our interests and safety nets because the 'unknown' feels too risky. Maybe this is why we are all nerds in some ways: we are keeping the inner kid alive through the things we never got to have, or simply struggling with the high-stakes choice of what to let go.
Now we have piles of clothes, books, you name it, but we can’t get rid of it because: What if one day?
I was actually talking to someone this week, and she was telling me that she JUST got rid of her 2000s sweats (you know the ones that said Juicy on the butt?!) and now they are back in style—she started beating herself up over it immediately. It’s a cruel cycle: we beat ourselves up for the 'clutter' of the past, yet our brains continue to drive us toward the 'security' of new acquisitions. This is because, for the ADHD nervous system, the act of shopping provides a potent dopamine hit that temporarily quietens the anxiety of the unknown.
You find some shirts you like that are JUST the right fabric, thickness, and design, and you have to buy five of them because WHAT IF they stop making them? Or leggings! Then you find yourself a year from now looking at that jacket you swore you needed two of, and you find it was just another impulse buy. You actually don’t need it or even like it as much anymore—you’re onto the next style or hyperfixation of the year.
The "Brain Crash"
This struggle isn't just you being "messy"—it's a literal brain crash caused by executive dysfunction. When we can't decide what is "important" to keep, we keep everything to avoid the pain of a "wrong" choice.
Research Insight: Studies show that ADHD affects how we sequence steps and prioritize information (Catale et al., 2013). Essentially, our "reinforcement learning" is atypical; it’s harder for us to predict which choice will actually lead to a positive outcome, so we "over-collect" as a safety net (Vaidya et al., 2018). This makes the physical act of decluttering feel like an impossible series of high-stakes life decisions (Catale et al., 2013).
The "Convenience Store" Strategy
Here’s the blunt truth: You didn’t fail, you gained experience.
If you want to stop the spiral, stop giving yourself so many options. Have you ever gone to the grocery store cereal aisle and felt your soul leave your body because there were 400 types of granola? If you go to a small convenience store, the problem vanishes because there are only three choices.
Stop trying to navigate the 400-option cereal aisle of your life. Limit your own aisles. If a choice is making you freeze, cut the options down to two until your nervous system stops screaming. You’re a warrior (as I tell my cat on a daily), but even warriors don’t win when they’re fighting too many fronts at once.
Struggling with the weight of your 'maybe' pile? Click Here for More Information
Catale, C., Meulemans, T., & Piérart, B. (2013). The Relationship Between Executive Functions and Internalizing/Externalizing Symptoms in Children with ADHD. Journal of Attention Disorders.
Vaidya, C. J., You, X., & Stevens, M. C. (2018). Frontostriatal dysfunction during decision making in ADHD. Biological Psychiatry: Cognitive Neuroscience and Neuroimaging, 3(11), 934–943.
